But say goodbye in peace, if for no other reason but your own need to survive and live well.You ain't gotta lie to kick it, You ain't gotta lie to kick it, You ain't gotta lie to kick it to be with me, You ain't gotta lie to kick it, You ain't gotta lie to kick it, whats it gonna be, its gonna be you ain't gotta lie to me Now you ain't gotta lie to me, or try to be somethin you ain't, well obviously, you tryin to be me, but you can't, niggas wanna be local, cuz some regional stars, type of nigga that got a little somethin, but guess what nigga lease on his car, watch out for these bustas, or should I say fake phonies, type of nigga that buy a Timex, put a Rolex face on it, I see niggas be talkin to me, but I can't do nothin bout what he's sayin, type of nigga don't get a beep all day but act a fool when uhh he finally get page, nigga walk around stuntin, on a cellular phone, when I ask to use it why the battery low, cuz it's always on roam, now see this, or should I say peep this, type of nigga that get a Benz wanna change the sign from a 3 to a 6, now ain't that funny, or should I say ain't that nothin, shit where the hummer, where the money, shit where the 600, type of nigga that buy dope for shit, an sell it cheaper then what he got it, wanna admit everbody in the story an everybody he be knowin, where the mills at, where the house on the hill at, nigga kill that, on the real black shit where the record deal at, shit lookin like you stole somethin, shit you owe somethin, look everytime I see you talkin bout Silkk let me hold somethin, see don't compare shit how I spit, but guess what if the shoe fit, go ahead, cuz you ain't gotta lie to kick it. There is a time to say hello and there is definitely a time to say goodbye. And someone to stand by them, even if from afar.īut don't ever forget about yourself in the midst of loving and forgiving. Because to me, those who are the most difficult in life usually have the toughest stories, and as cliche as it may sound, need love the most. So many times I've been hurt by someone or betrayed by someone or talked to like I'm nothing by someone. I could hate so many people in my life right now. Anger, on the other hand, well, fuck them, right? But what does anger do? Does it solve anything? Isn't it better to forgive and be at peace and thankful for everything you learned and gained from someone or something? At least that's what I think. It's easier than feeling broken and hurt because that feels very uncontrollable. Quite often this is the feeling you want to feel compared to others. Thankful for understanding and honesty and peace between two souls who will forever be connected. And when I saw him for the last time once again, I was thankful. Thankful for the opportunity to rewrite an ending that, for quite some time, didn't sit right with me. The truth is, that through it all, he made me a more compassionate person, a more patient person, a more forgiving person, a more understanding person, a more loving person, a more hopeful person, and a more passionate person, for better or worse.Īnd when I saw him for the first time again, 7 years later, I was thankful. It's funny who comes into your life and when.
I only remember the the brokenness that I felt. It's funny what your mind holds on to and, at the same time, what you will never recall again. I can remember throwing up all over my gray American Eagle skirt as I drove back to his house, begging. I can remember how my heart felt like it was dead as I sat on the blacktop of a playground parking lot, begging. I can vividly remember running through campus that day feeling everything all at once, trying to get to my car, begging. How it feels like you are breaking internally. How you can't imagine feeling whole again.
Think about how debilitating that feeling is. To have an empty mind with thoughts constantly running through it. Think about how it felt to not be able to breathe, not be able to focus, not be able to think about anything else, not be able to plan anything past what is happening at that current moment. When you could feel the hollowness as the pain poured out simultaneously. Think about that time when you could actually feel the pain searing through your body. I want you to think about how it feels to have your heart broken.
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